Miss-emotional
Ah, those feelings, those feelings…
It seems like we always have too many of them. You are always overreacting or being too emotional. People seem to never be shocked by lack of feelings. No one will accuse a woman of under-reacting…
What really drives me off the wall is to be told I am too emotional. I have been told this many times over the years…I am seven years old, watching E.T. It is the part where you think E.T. is dead and Elliot has lost the best friend he ever had, but then, E.T. opens his eyes and you realize he is not really dead and you're just so happy, tears roll down your cheeks.
I am twenty-seven, waiting for my brother to call and tell me how his coming out went. It has been 3 hours since hour H and still nothing. I am worried; I am calling all of my friend to find out what I should do…should I call and pretend I don't know anything, act surprised? What if something really bad happened?
I am ten years old and running out of class; accused of stealing a pen my father actually gave me, called a thief, an Arab thief…
I am fourteen, and there are thousands of people on top of the Berlin Wall and the soldiers on the East side are not shooting; my friends and I are in the streets of our town in Germany, Bonn, Capital city by default. We are talking, and screaming and just being silly happy, and yes, our hearts are so joyous that our voices start to sound funny, and our eyes start to get a little wet! And we all talk at the same time, about how it felt when we touched the wall. About sending orange juice to the East side. And then, someone actually broke a piece of the Wall…
I am nineteen and jumping up and down in the middle of my bedroom because a boy called; twenty-one, and clapping my hands because my visa got approved, twenty-eight and excited because I want to see the last episode of Sex and the City and my HBO on demand finally works or because I feel happy listening to the new Maroon 5 song…
The problem is, I do not know what people mean when they say I am too "emotional"? Do they mean, too happy? Too sad? Laughing too hard, screaming too loud? Do they mean I have too many feelings?
"Emotional"
Let's see… Emotional…
e·mo·tion·al pronounced e-m sh -n l:
the dictionary explains that word as: Pertaining to, or characterized by, emotion; excitable; easily moved; sensational; as, an emotional nature.These are the definitions I found:1: determined or actuated by emotion rather than reason; "it was an emotional judgment" [ant: cerebral]
Last summer, my roommates kicked me out of my apartment in Hell's Kitchen. They said I was being too emotional in my political discussions and it was creating tensions in the house. Apparently, while I was smirking at FOX NEWS' image and sound show, with some catchy title, "emotions" affecting my ability to be logical and make sense overcame my brain. My Roommates Matt and Rob (both on the lease, not me: note to self, make sure your name is on the lease before letting people know what you truly think about the President) started getting upset at what was apparently an emotional display of opinion…
Maybe I should have refrained myself and said something more like: Dear Matt and Rob, I want to let you know that the war in Iraq is not a fun idea. Quite expensive in fact. But what's a few lives compared to the greater good of the people of Iraq. It does not matter what the rest of the world says, nor what I think I might be thinking. Because, as we all know, opinion is a thought, not a feeling. I should agree with Mr. Bush because he is the president of the country I live in and love. I should shush up that knot I have in my stomach and admit that yes, maybe somewhere, over the rainbow, there are WMD, and even if not, it doesn't matter because the goal of this war is really to free the people of Iraq…
But no, not me. The emotional woman that I am yelled while watching CNN, throwing up one sarcastic comment after the other as Saddam's statue was dismantled in a big show, rolling my eyes at the numbers of death: "well what did you think was going to happen?" And I said it. this is the most fucked up, fucking retarded lie ever told to conquer the world. No weapons will be found because none exist. It's for the oil. And the people of Iraq? You have left them to die for the past 20 years and NOW you want to save them? What a joke…
To my roommates, these "emotional" outbursts meant that I was happy that soldiers were dying…And therefore, was against them, and had no place in this house… I was too politically emotional… My arguments were determined by feelings rather than reason? Hummm…
I don't know about you. My opinion seems pretty reasonable to me…
2: of more than usual emotion
"his behavior was highly emotional" [ant: unemotional] It is a bright, warm and sunny Tuesday morning. It is September 11th 2001 and the first tower is crumbling apart while I stand on the balcony of my apartment, at the corner of Bleecker and Thompson screaming: OH my God, Oh my God, Oh my God… The neighbor that is standing right next to me, a filmmaker with a camera in his hands, stops pressing the record button and looks up: Are you OK? He asks… I am shaking and I just stare at him and say, yes I am fine. I walk back into the apartment and over hear him say something about "emotional breakdown"…
Was I displaying more than usual emotions and therefore could be qualified as someone having an emotional breakdown in the sense that it was totally inappropriate at that time? Had I been witnessing a fight between a pretzel vendor and a cab driver, maybe! Watching my view forever be altered, and I am not just talking about my view down Broadway, my answer is NO. No I was not displaying more than usual emotions for this horrendous, unusual situation
3: of or pertaining to emotion
"emotional health"; "an emotional crisis" The first person I really remember using this as an insult was one of my ex-boyfriends. We were sitting in front of plates of baked ziti and penne a la vodka. It was in the middle of winter and a few days past a snowstorm. My giving a dollar bill to a homeless man on the street had prompted the discussion. Ex-boyfriend had proceeded to explain to me why it was wrong. Because it gave the homeless an excuse not to work. Not to do anything and keep bugging others for money they would spend on a bottle of J&B or a pack of cigarettes. Never food nor shelter. (Apparently ex-boyfriend is very familiar with the habits of every single homeless person in this city).
His solution to the homeless problem? Pack them on a bus and send them to Florida. In fact, he did not understand why they didn't go themselves! At least they would not be cold and could survive on less food. I was so shocked by that that I got up, told him to get the check and walked out on him…Later that night, he mentioned that he did not understand why I had to get all "emotional" about it. But the problem is, I did not feel like I had been "emotional" about it. Passionate and upset-which is true, are emotions- but emotional, as in having an emotional crisis? I don't think so. And if I was emotional, then him being insensitive and obnoxious- which could also count as emotions- was just well!
4: extravagantly demonstrative
"insincere and effusive demonstrations of sentimental friendship"; "a large gushing female"; "write unrestrained and gushy poetry" [syn: effusive, gushing (a), gushy].
OK. So I give a lot of hugs. And not just to the people I know. I hug the whole kitchen staff of the restaurant, kiss-kiss on the cheeks (but I am French, it's not emotional, it's genetic). I hug my friend's friends, I sometimes hug the homeless I chit chat with. And I tell my friends that I love them, and miss them, and bring them stuff back from vacation.I grew up with a father who did not know how to let people know he loved them. With a Grandfather who never kissed my grandmother. I grew up seeing how much it hurts not to be given a hug, a handshake or a smile. How can there be something wrong with smiling too much, when the smile comes from the heart?
How can you tell me I am to happy, too emotionally demonstrative when too many live their life without being told how much they are liked, appreciated, wanted?
I spend 2 years with a man who never told me: I love you. Who never let me know he thought I was beautiful. No one tells him he is undemonstrative. Restrained.
My emotions are always sincere. Effusive but sincere. I would not hug those I detest. I would not kiss-kiss on the cheeks someone who is racist, homophobic, against abortion, and who wears white sport socks with loafers…that person, I might shake their hands or smile briefly at, but I would not touch them. Not even with a ten-foot pole. And it would definitely be a sincere, effusive demonstration of dislike. Except when it seems to be a negative demonstration, no one tells me it's emotional…
5: of persons; excessively affected by emotion
"he would become emotional over nothing at all" [syn: aroused, excited]
Affected by emotions…over nothing at all... I am going through a slide show of some of the 2,000 couples that got married in San Francisco over Valentine's Day weekend. I have tears in the back of my throat. Yes, I have feelings, why; some might even say emotions, in regards to this event. Not only towards the couples, but also extreme pride as I can only wish to be half the man the Mayor of San Francisco is. In a split second, I have fallen in love, yes in love, with this amazing human being who did something just because it was about time someone did…Defying authority to do what he believed was just! Looking at the pictures, you can feel the love, the joy…there were rose petals and grains of rice covering the steps of City Hall… And people pouring out of the building waving a sheet of paper in the air. Some wore costumes, some wore kilts, some had matching shirts tucked into they're washed out jeans, and some wore tuxedos and beautiful white dresses. Some were pretty young, and some were definitely pretty old. Some were white, others blacks, some were Hispanic, others Indian, Arab, Asian…. Some had amazingly bright rainbow scarves around their necks, and some just had a sticker that read: justly married…But they all finally had a wedding ring around their fingers, and they all had a smile that was so wide, so bright… Hell yes, it stirred emotions in me. Because I can only hope one day, to be this much in love with someone and this happy that I'd want to marry that someone. And finally be allowed to marry that someone. But it doesn't mean it stirred "too many" feelings or that it was excessive. I keep wondering how it could not stir any… Good or bad (if you’re a homophobic asshole for instance- and how's that for an emotional outburst?) but those kinds of events should stir something…
I am watching the pictures taken by a straight, male photographer on AlterNEt.org. His comments? "Behind a camera, there was a straight guy weeping". Would you say he had become emotional over nothing at all?Was he too emotional? Am I too emotional?
I am certain that in my life, I have over-reacted to things. To be honest, I know I have displayed a somewhat higher emotional behavior at some point! Sue me…I screamed in the streets when France won the world cup in 1998; I hit my sister with a pillow (beats my fist if you ask me) during a fight; and spat in the coffee of a customer who called my friend -his waitress- a fat bitch (it was in 1999, in Little Italy)…Was it highly emotional? Yes. And maybe it was a little too much.
But until you have been called a fat bitch by one of your customers, until you have had client treat you like shit, do not tell me what the appropriate reaction to a certain situation should be.People have told me my writing tends to be emotional. What other way should it be? Bland? Neutral? Un-opinionated? People tell me that when I write stories, my comments seem to be over-reacted. Well how should they be? I mean, this is my story, my feelings, my opportunity to vent. Venting and bitching and just being angry are not meant to be polite and contained. Feelings are not supposed to come in a nice little package with a bow on top, small and squared and just non-intrusive.No…
You can call me a lot of things. Tell me I take things too seriously. Tell me I am too sensitive. That's fine. I probably am. Tell me I have mood swings and that I have a tendency to over react-that's acceptable. You can tell me all that. You can tell me I am moody, bitchy, PMS-ing, on fire, cranky, not being fair, reasonable and so on. But do not tell me I have too many emotions. Do not tell me I have too many feelings…Do not tell me I care too much…I do not tell you, you care too little! I do not break out into a Top Gun soundtrack song letting you know that you've lost that loving feeling…I am too emotional?Fuck you. Maybe YOU are the one who is not emotional enough!
It seems like we always have too many of them. You are always overreacting or being too emotional. People seem to never be shocked by lack of feelings. No one will accuse a woman of under-reacting…
What really drives me off the wall is to be told I am too emotional. I have been told this many times over the years…I am seven years old, watching E.T. It is the part where you think E.T. is dead and Elliot has lost the best friend he ever had, but then, E.T. opens his eyes and you realize he is not really dead and you're just so happy, tears roll down your cheeks.
I am twenty-seven, waiting for my brother to call and tell me how his coming out went. It has been 3 hours since hour H and still nothing. I am worried; I am calling all of my friend to find out what I should do…should I call and pretend I don't know anything, act surprised? What if something really bad happened?
I am ten years old and running out of class; accused of stealing a pen my father actually gave me, called a thief, an Arab thief…
I am fourteen, and there are thousands of people on top of the Berlin Wall and the soldiers on the East side are not shooting; my friends and I are in the streets of our town in Germany, Bonn, Capital city by default. We are talking, and screaming and just being silly happy, and yes, our hearts are so joyous that our voices start to sound funny, and our eyes start to get a little wet! And we all talk at the same time, about how it felt when we touched the wall. About sending orange juice to the East side. And then, someone actually broke a piece of the Wall…
I am nineteen and jumping up and down in the middle of my bedroom because a boy called; twenty-one, and clapping my hands because my visa got approved, twenty-eight and excited because I want to see the last episode of Sex and the City and my HBO on demand finally works or because I feel happy listening to the new Maroon 5 song…
The problem is, I do not know what people mean when they say I am too "emotional"? Do they mean, too happy? Too sad? Laughing too hard, screaming too loud? Do they mean I have too many feelings?
"Emotional"
Let's see… Emotional…
e·mo·tion·al pronounced e-m sh -n l:
the dictionary explains that word as: Pertaining to, or characterized by, emotion; excitable; easily moved; sensational; as, an emotional nature.These are the definitions I found:1: determined or actuated by emotion rather than reason; "it was an emotional judgment" [ant: cerebral]
Last summer, my roommates kicked me out of my apartment in Hell's Kitchen. They said I was being too emotional in my political discussions and it was creating tensions in the house. Apparently, while I was smirking at FOX NEWS' image and sound show, with some catchy title, "emotions" affecting my ability to be logical and make sense overcame my brain. My Roommates Matt and Rob (both on the lease, not me: note to self, make sure your name is on the lease before letting people know what you truly think about the President) started getting upset at what was apparently an emotional display of opinion…
Maybe I should have refrained myself and said something more like: Dear Matt and Rob, I want to let you know that the war in Iraq is not a fun idea. Quite expensive in fact. But what's a few lives compared to the greater good of the people of Iraq. It does not matter what the rest of the world says, nor what I think I might be thinking. Because, as we all know, opinion is a thought, not a feeling. I should agree with Mr. Bush because he is the president of the country I live in and love. I should shush up that knot I have in my stomach and admit that yes, maybe somewhere, over the rainbow, there are WMD, and even if not, it doesn't matter because the goal of this war is really to free the people of Iraq…
But no, not me. The emotional woman that I am yelled while watching CNN, throwing up one sarcastic comment after the other as Saddam's statue was dismantled in a big show, rolling my eyes at the numbers of death: "well what did you think was going to happen?" And I said it. this is the most fucked up, fucking retarded lie ever told to conquer the world. No weapons will be found because none exist. It's for the oil. And the people of Iraq? You have left them to die for the past 20 years and NOW you want to save them? What a joke…
To my roommates, these "emotional" outbursts meant that I was happy that soldiers were dying…And therefore, was against them, and had no place in this house… I was too politically emotional… My arguments were determined by feelings rather than reason? Hummm…
I don't know about you. My opinion seems pretty reasonable to me…
2: of more than usual emotion
"his behavior was highly emotional" [ant: unemotional] It is a bright, warm and sunny Tuesday morning. It is September 11th 2001 and the first tower is crumbling apart while I stand on the balcony of my apartment, at the corner of Bleecker and Thompson screaming: OH my God, Oh my God, Oh my God… The neighbor that is standing right next to me, a filmmaker with a camera in his hands, stops pressing the record button and looks up: Are you OK? He asks… I am shaking and I just stare at him and say, yes I am fine. I walk back into the apartment and over hear him say something about "emotional breakdown"…
Was I displaying more than usual emotions and therefore could be qualified as someone having an emotional breakdown in the sense that it was totally inappropriate at that time? Had I been witnessing a fight between a pretzel vendor and a cab driver, maybe! Watching my view forever be altered, and I am not just talking about my view down Broadway, my answer is NO. No I was not displaying more than usual emotions for this horrendous, unusual situation
3: of or pertaining to emotion
"emotional health"; "an emotional crisis" The first person I really remember using this as an insult was one of my ex-boyfriends. We were sitting in front of plates of baked ziti and penne a la vodka. It was in the middle of winter and a few days past a snowstorm. My giving a dollar bill to a homeless man on the street had prompted the discussion. Ex-boyfriend had proceeded to explain to me why it was wrong. Because it gave the homeless an excuse not to work. Not to do anything and keep bugging others for money they would spend on a bottle of J&B or a pack of cigarettes. Never food nor shelter. (Apparently ex-boyfriend is very familiar with the habits of every single homeless person in this city).
His solution to the homeless problem? Pack them on a bus and send them to Florida. In fact, he did not understand why they didn't go themselves! At least they would not be cold and could survive on less food. I was so shocked by that that I got up, told him to get the check and walked out on him…Later that night, he mentioned that he did not understand why I had to get all "emotional" about it. But the problem is, I did not feel like I had been "emotional" about it. Passionate and upset-which is true, are emotions- but emotional, as in having an emotional crisis? I don't think so. And if I was emotional, then him being insensitive and obnoxious- which could also count as emotions- was just well!
4: extravagantly demonstrative
"insincere and effusive demonstrations of sentimental friendship"; "a large gushing female"; "write unrestrained and gushy poetry" [syn: effusive, gushing (a), gushy].
OK. So I give a lot of hugs. And not just to the people I know. I hug the whole kitchen staff of the restaurant, kiss-kiss on the cheeks (but I am French, it's not emotional, it's genetic). I hug my friend's friends, I sometimes hug the homeless I chit chat with. And I tell my friends that I love them, and miss them, and bring them stuff back from vacation.I grew up with a father who did not know how to let people know he loved them. With a Grandfather who never kissed my grandmother. I grew up seeing how much it hurts not to be given a hug, a handshake or a smile. How can there be something wrong with smiling too much, when the smile comes from the heart?
How can you tell me I am to happy, too emotionally demonstrative when too many live their life without being told how much they are liked, appreciated, wanted?
I spend 2 years with a man who never told me: I love you. Who never let me know he thought I was beautiful. No one tells him he is undemonstrative. Restrained.
My emotions are always sincere. Effusive but sincere. I would not hug those I detest. I would not kiss-kiss on the cheeks someone who is racist, homophobic, against abortion, and who wears white sport socks with loafers…that person, I might shake their hands or smile briefly at, but I would not touch them. Not even with a ten-foot pole. And it would definitely be a sincere, effusive demonstration of dislike. Except when it seems to be a negative demonstration, no one tells me it's emotional…
5: of persons; excessively affected by emotion
"he would become emotional over nothing at all" [syn: aroused, excited]
Affected by emotions…over nothing at all... I am going through a slide show of some of the 2,000 couples that got married in San Francisco over Valentine's Day weekend. I have tears in the back of my throat. Yes, I have feelings, why; some might even say emotions, in regards to this event. Not only towards the couples, but also extreme pride as I can only wish to be half the man the Mayor of San Francisco is. In a split second, I have fallen in love, yes in love, with this amazing human being who did something just because it was about time someone did…Defying authority to do what he believed was just! Looking at the pictures, you can feel the love, the joy…there were rose petals and grains of rice covering the steps of City Hall… And people pouring out of the building waving a sheet of paper in the air. Some wore costumes, some wore kilts, some had matching shirts tucked into they're washed out jeans, and some wore tuxedos and beautiful white dresses. Some were pretty young, and some were definitely pretty old. Some were white, others blacks, some were Hispanic, others Indian, Arab, Asian…. Some had amazingly bright rainbow scarves around their necks, and some just had a sticker that read: justly married…But they all finally had a wedding ring around their fingers, and they all had a smile that was so wide, so bright… Hell yes, it stirred emotions in me. Because I can only hope one day, to be this much in love with someone and this happy that I'd want to marry that someone. And finally be allowed to marry that someone. But it doesn't mean it stirred "too many" feelings or that it was excessive. I keep wondering how it could not stir any… Good or bad (if you’re a homophobic asshole for instance- and how's that for an emotional outburst?) but those kinds of events should stir something…
I am watching the pictures taken by a straight, male photographer on AlterNEt.org. His comments? "Behind a camera, there was a straight guy weeping". Would you say he had become emotional over nothing at all?Was he too emotional? Am I too emotional?
I am certain that in my life, I have over-reacted to things. To be honest, I know I have displayed a somewhat higher emotional behavior at some point! Sue me…I screamed in the streets when France won the world cup in 1998; I hit my sister with a pillow (beats my fist if you ask me) during a fight; and spat in the coffee of a customer who called my friend -his waitress- a fat bitch (it was in 1999, in Little Italy)…Was it highly emotional? Yes. And maybe it was a little too much.
But until you have been called a fat bitch by one of your customers, until you have had client treat you like shit, do not tell me what the appropriate reaction to a certain situation should be.People have told me my writing tends to be emotional. What other way should it be? Bland? Neutral? Un-opinionated? People tell me that when I write stories, my comments seem to be over-reacted. Well how should they be? I mean, this is my story, my feelings, my opportunity to vent. Venting and bitching and just being angry are not meant to be polite and contained. Feelings are not supposed to come in a nice little package with a bow on top, small and squared and just non-intrusive.No…
You can call me a lot of things. Tell me I take things too seriously. Tell me I am too sensitive. That's fine. I probably am. Tell me I have mood swings and that I have a tendency to over react-that's acceptable. You can tell me all that. You can tell me I am moody, bitchy, PMS-ing, on fire, cranky, not being fair, reasonable and so on. But do not tell me I have too many emotions. Do not tell me I have too many feelings…Do not tell me I care too much…I do not tell you, you care too little! I do not break out into a Top Gun soundtrack song letting you know that you've lost that loving feeling…I am too emotional?Fuck you. Maybe YOU are the one who is not emotional enough!
posted by Sophie Yon-Gharbi at 9:18 AM
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